Astro Turf Tories

The continuing saga of federal micro-pork:

The Harper Government's investment of $50,150 will allow the club to renovate the existing facility built in 1958. The Pembina Curling Club was the first curling club in the Fort Garry neighborhood, and has grown to become a six sheet rink offering 25 leagues for players of all ages. The investment will support improved lighting, wall restorations, and the installation of a new carpet.

Not the federal government. Not the Canadian government. Not the Conservative government. Nope it's the Harper Government that is spending the median income in Canada to upgrade a curling rink. A Leviathan so vast and all knowing that it will condescend to install new carpeting in south Winnipeg. A small consideration Orwell and Huxley never envisioned. The announcement for much needed new carpeting was made by Joyce Bateman, Member of Parliament for Winnipeg South Centre, on behalf of the Honourable Lynne Yelich, Minister of State for Western Economic Diversification. 

Why the hell do we have a Minister of Western Economic Diversification? The most economically vibrant region in the country needs to have its economy diversified, eh? Are the good people of Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta and B.C. unable to diversify their own economies? Must the federal establishment do so? And how the hell do you diversify an economy by installing new carpeting? This isn't the ordinary road to nowhere stuff. It can be argued that roads are a public good that only the state can provide. How is carpeting in a private club a public good?

Did we mention that the federal government is running a substantial deficit?

This interior redecorating is being funded under the auspices of the Community Infrastructure Improvement Fund (CIIF), one of the greatest engines of pork in modern Canada. By an astonishing coincidence much of this pork gets spent in areas represented by Conservative MPs. Such are the wonders of modern politics in our benign welfare state. There is no need too small, no concern too trivial that does not require the swift and decisive intervention of the Harper Government. From time to time the Great Man himself shows up to hand out one of the big cardboard checks.

To show that the Harper Government is broadminded in its largesse, we see Western Economic Diversification also at work in British Columbia:

Today, Randy Kamp, Member of Parliament for Pitt Meadows—Maple Ridge—Mission, on behalf of the Honourable Lynne Yelich, Minister of State for Western Economic Diversification, announced support for the District of Maple Ridge’s Hammond Stadium under the Harper Government’s Community Infrastructure Improvement Fund (CIIF).

“Our Government is committed to creating jobs, growth and long-term prosperity in our communities across Canada,” said MP Kamp. “By making these investments in local infrastructure, we are helping boost economic activity and maintain a high quality of life for Canadians.”

So what are these boosting activities?

The Harper Government’s investment of $187,500 will be used to upgrade the Hammond Stadium playing field. The improvements will include renovating the turf grass areas and installing new dugouts and permanent outfield fencing. The field will also be re-oriented to a northwest configuration to minimize the impact of direct sunlight on players.

Ponder that sentence. Even if you believe that it is the role of government to "minimize the impact of direct sunlight on players" how is it the role of the federal government? Six decades ago the Liberal Prime Minister Louis St Laurent questioned tax dollars being spent on ballet. We are some way down the road when a government headed by an alleged libertarian is keeping the sun out of your eyes. There are mothers less doting upon their children.

Please can we cut out the pretense? You're buying people's votes. That's fine. I understand the sordid nature of political "discourse." But getting all these bureaucrats involved is a waste of time and money. Let's just have a direct relationship between the elected whores and the whoring electorate. I live in a swing riding in Toronto. It might go Liberal in the next election. For the price of $1000, I promise to vote Conservative in the next federal election. Or Liberal. Or NDP. Or Bloc Quebecois if they'd care to run a candidate. There doesn't seem to be much of a difference.

My vote's for sale. 

 

Comments

[Cytotoxic]

Please. Stop. The. Sadism pork-posts. You've already broken us. We're like Winston at the end of 1984.

[Jimmy Levendia]

I've long since believed that the reason that the traditional Liberal Party is declining is due to the rise of two other Liberal Parties, the Blue Liberals and the Orange Liberals, who are competing for the vast mushy middle more effectively than the ailing Red Liberals. I'm kind of relieved not to be too emotionally invested in the Conservatives any more- roll out the pork barrel! Do I hear an offer of $1500 and a $200 Tim card? They can put "The Harper Government" on the Tim card if they like.

[Mikeg81]

*sigh*

[markottawa]

"2013 Canadian Federal Budget: No There There on Defence, Plenty on Pork"
http://cdfai3ds.wordpress.com/2013/03/22/mark-collins-2013-canadian-federal-budget-no-there-there-on-defence-plenty-on-pork/

Note shipbuilding at end.

Mark
Ottawa

[John Chittick]

I heard that, in the Sixties, Erik Nielson (PC MP and brother of Leslie Nielson) used to hand out quarters to Indians on the streets of Whitehorse during campaigns. Accounting for inflation,.........